I had the most delicious dream last night. Thus the picture of the bus in the start of My posting. It was a beautiful dream that I did not want to wake up from and when I did wake I found Myself excited and the sheets a tad wet. I took care of it, don't worry. I won't go into detail here as I do not want My page to be the source of a masterbation fest, yet lets just say it involved a bus, the back on the bus and a man.

Giggles


I thought of someone this morning so wanted to post this. For I am not sure why people come into our lives. I am sure that there is always a reason. We just do not know the reason yet.

I will give you countless amounts of outright acceptance
If you want it
I will give you encouragement to choose the path you want
If you need it
You can speak of anger and doubts,
your fears and freak outs
I will hold it
You can share your so-called
Shame filled accounts of times in your life
I will not judge it
There are no strings attached
you owe Me nothing for giving the love that I give
you owe Me nothing for caring the way that I have
I give you thanks for recieving
It's My priviledge
you owe Me nothing in return
you can ask space for yourself
Only yourself
I will grant it
you can ask for freedom as was
Time to reveal
you will have it
I bet you are wondering when the next payback will eventually drop
I bet you are wondering when My conditions or policies will force you to cough up
I bet you are wondering how far you will have to dance to move back into dead space
you can express your deepest thoughts
Even if it means it is hard
I will hear it.
you can fall into the abyss on the way to your bliss
I will empathize with
You can say you can not chase your passion
I will hear it
you can hit rock bottom, have a crisis
I will hold it.

Have a blessed day,
Goddess Isis Moon

I find My mind drifting to far places this morning. Unable to think of just one thing, yet a million things all rushing in and colliding with each other.

Sitting here listening to the rain hit the window, listening to the thunder bolts outside and I notice My breathe deeper as each strikes. I have the utter desire today to be peeled open. To have each and ever layer of Myself exposed for the world to see. It is something that I do not do. Something I try to avoid, yet today for some reason I feel it would be leave Me vulerable. With that said, being vulnerable does not scare Me. In fact it tends to do the exact opposite. I enjoy being vulnerable and being able to just let go and be. The part of that I do not enjoy is that it seems there are far too many people anymore that take that vulnerable state and walk all over it. Eating you up and spitting you out before they even get a taste.

I think in life W/we all have to be vulnerable some. I have and will always be an open book. I have nothing to hide nor do I lie about who or what I am. I am always amazed at people who do and find Myself shaking My head and never quite grasping the concept of "white lies" let alone black ones. I have never feared tapping into Myself or speaking truth in what I know. I know that people do not always mean to lie or to tell small stories, yet knowing thyself is a practice few remember.

On days like these, where the rain is so beautifully sweeping the dirt away I become almost docile in My heart. Those romantic tendencies bubble up and I wonder if chivlary still readily exsists in this world. Will there be that submissive who aches when I am not near because he can not breathe as well without Me? Will there be that one who is comfortable enough within himself to be able to express that love and adoration he has in the realm that is Me? I could sit here and write a million questions. Yet, those questions have no answers as of yet.

When I know, you'll know, ya know?

So I will not stress about those answers. The wind shall carry them to Me when I am to know.

As of now, I will continue to look out at the rain and watch as it washes everything away. In hopes that *My* submissive will see My relection in a muddle puddle and swim on home.

My body is tired. Shaken and just done. My heart is a mere section of what it was years ago and I find Myself angry for giving any of Myself at all to anyone. I sit under this blackened sky as it cradles around Me. I feel as if I am a dead animal laying on the road while vultures lie in the shadows waiting for the silence to simply pounce and take what is not theirs to begin with. That dead soul simply being eaten as if it were alive. Yet, it has not been alive for quite sometime as it has been pecked at. Little by little by many different people.

Why not just have someone eat all of Me, instead of just taking parts that they need? Leaving an empty shell to break. Why can there not be a soft gentle wind to carry Me? Why does it have to be a breaking wind that shakes Me to the ground?

Even us Sadistic Bitchs hurt when words such as "hatred" are thrown. Even I am gentle and loving. Although most never get that far to see that side. Perhaps I don't show it because I am always knocked down to the ground far quicker then I would like.

But hey... I don't feel much. I am Sadistic and Dominant remember? We don't feel anything at all.

I have always hated the word ambivalent, yet the more I tend to center Myself here the more ambivalent I feel. I can no longer say "That particular time" when all those times tend to now run into each other. One being the same as the next. All things simply running into one another like melted crayons left on the sidewalk on a July day.

I think it becomes trouble when you no longer notice your wounds. When you simply tend to licking them clean far before you even know why they are there to start with. One caused right after another tends to just make life... there.

Do I just not give Myself anymore? For has it gotten to the point that I throw My arms in the air and walk away from all I know? How much work it is to not become so jaded that love is never in the realm. How do you learn to just let people in when the majority of people prick you with thorns right away?

With skinned knees and fucked up elbow I yet again get up and get back on. Although I am not really sure why. How exactly does one that has an open heart shut it off all the time? How does one just put up a wall so there can not be the slightest bit of hurt settle in?

Just another set of questions that I can never seem to answer.

I have always held My ground firmly that people come into our lives for a certain reason. Perhaps it is just one reason, others it is several different reasons.
I have had a person come into My life recently that has take the spot of muse in My life. I also have a great feeling that they are there for more then one reason, yet as of now it is that person that has taken that muse role.

It has been quite awhile that anyone has fit so neatly and tightly into that spot. It is rare for Me that anyone truely takes that position in My life or in the moment.

A muse is quite a lovely thing. So kudo's to that person. I believe reading this you will know who you are.

The weekend has been dark and dreary to most but beautiful and quiet for Me. It is always lovely when Mother Earth takes Her moment to breathe and wash away all the impurities that it has gathered. Washing away bit by bit all of the things that do not need to be there. She did exactly that the entire weekend and I was relaxed with Her.

My desire has run on a ultimate high this weekend. My desire to take. My Sadistic desires. My romantic desires. That desire to have the one that completes Me like a complicated puzzle piece that ever so beautifully fits into Me. A delicate and intricate jigsaw puzzle finally fitting into what should have fit ages ago. That puzzle piece is not always easy to find and takes great patience to fit in properly together.

My desire, those deep, raw and dark moments within Me run wild in My mind, My heart and My belly. Those thoughts are making My heart beat a bit faster and My breath deepen with each inhale.

"Waiting to exhale" would be a good line in this entry.

I close My eyes and can see that submissive in My belly perfectly. he is waiting ever so patiently for My hand, My body, My mouth, My heart, My mind and most importantly My soul to devour him whole. Allowing him to enter My aura and never be returned to same.

Sighs.. I can see him just perfectly. Now, if I can only touch him.

**If you stop by here please sign in the comment box. So many people stop and never say a thing. I would like to know that you were here!**

Blessed be,
Goddess Isis Moon

I am not sure what has come over Me tonight. My mind seems to not be able to settle itself. I have mentioned before in My many bloggings that there are times that I tend to get dark. Dark to Me is not a scary thing, nor is it something that I shy away from. My mind when that darkness comes over Me tends to run away with My normally everyday thoughts. Making it hard to focus and My heart gets sentimental.

Allows Me to tap into the feelings that I have supressed or feelings that are new and upcoming for Me. When in that dark state I tend to do My best meditation and magical work. When feeling this way I want romance and deep sadistic urnings to be fulfilled.
My mind can never keep up with My fingers as I write extensively in My journals.

Tonight the darkness of night seems to call to Me. As if there is a soft whisper in the air waiting for Me to simply act upon it. My heart feels as if it could not ache any harder. Twisting and kneeding within My chest. Urning to feel the submissive that seeks Me in the darkness as well.

Time stands still for no one. This W/we all know for fact, yet there are times in life where it feels time is moving in slow motion. That even with it moving so slow W/we are unable to keep up. Tonight is one of those moments where I want to stand and scream. Pulling at My hair and My clothes. Knowing that he too is out there. he too is out wandering in the darkness waiting to bump into the one he knows is true. W/we may both be wandering alone in this darkness. Yet I will find him.

So in My mind I scream.

"I know you are out there My love. I am coming for you. The journey is long but please believe that I will find you. Trust in Me that I will find you."

Do not get Me wrong, I am a very patient person. I know that when the time is meant for that darkness to clear it will. I enjoy this darkness, this wandering. I too know that this entry will make sense to noone but I. So I shall close and know that My mind will stay dark for the moment and I shall enjoy it.

The last few days I have been catching up on reading the blogs that are in My bookmarks.

A few have written up the "soft soap" version of all of us. Some have written about the fact W/we all must have mental problems.

I suppose I find it funny. I find it funny when other people tend to try to put Me and Miss Jo Sadist in one basket. Label Me, stating I am like someone else.

I come here because My heart is drawn here. I come here to write about My life, My heart and My thoughts. I could sit here for hours telling you about My darkest deepest desires. Yet, I am the type of person that even though I write in a blog for all to see I also like My privacy. Why take every article of clothing off? When W/we all know that stripping down one article of clothing at a time is the best route to go.

I am far... FAR from a soft soap version of the lifestyle. Those that are exremely close to Me know that for a fact. Yet there are times that My dark and Sadistic side go hand in hand with that soapy version. I mean please, W/we are all just human. If W/we were all that dark all the time W/we would be in a padded room.

These people blog simply for the shock factor. Just too see how many people it pisses off and how many people write about it. Linking that journal from your journal.

Speaking of....

To Candance. Props to You Girl! Love the new link location for a certain fucked up person. That was quite clever!

Do I need mental help according to a certain bloggers response to a friend of Mine, regarding the D/s lifestyle and being in it?

Sure... of course I do. Yet I like My craziness!

"I am crazy, give Me some candy!"

Sticks My tongue out at all those bloggers. I am not afraid of what you have to say about Me, nor will I defend. I am comfortable within Myself and what I believe in. I am exactly where I belong.



Jealous much?

**Somedays W/we all just have to act like children and forgot about it!**
Today was My day.

My advice... do not write about what you do not know. Grab a book, hit a site. I am sure you could find something to learn. Something that would make you look just a tad bit like you know what the hell you are talking about.

Huggles all to oodles!

Goddess Isis Moon

Time has clearly not been on My side lately. It is not that I have not wanted to sit here at write, yet it seems that even when I think I have the time.. I don't.

Things have been going at an extra fast pace. More then usual. With that said anyone who truely knows Me, knows that it is going at a pace that is too fast... even for Me.

So I hope to sit and write in a bit.

Blessed be,
Moon

Goddess Aradia wrote something in Her blog that peeked Me to write this morning. It never seems to amaze Me some people in this lifestyle that see each and every thing as different avenues to take.

In a lifestyle that "prides" itself in the saying "Even if your kink is not My kink, it is respected", sure has a lot of people in it that have such misunderstandings of the lifestyle as a whole.

As GA wrote they are really just pigeon holes in the greater view of things.

Whether you call it
BDSM
D/S
S/M
FLR
LFA
Domina
Fem Dom
Black
White
ECT

They really are just the same thing rolled into the "lifestyle" Everyone has such different meanings for each that one can call it D/s and mean something totally different the someone else calling it that.

What W/we need to all understand is that what works for one may not work for another. What one feels the meaning of FLR is may be different then the other.

There is one thing that I have no patience for are people in this lifestyle that write or act as if they know everything, when in essence they know nothing at all.

Do you really think that the handful of U/us that have lived a true lifestyle life do not see through all the holes in you?

W/we do. W/we see it more often then Y/you know.

I believe sadly this happens in so many area's of life. Not just the D/s lifestyle. What I may see as black, someone else may see is dark gray. What GA may see as pink, I may see as light red.

Whatever the reasons, whatever the situation, accepting others views and differences is what makes U/us who W/we are.

W/we may all walk the same sort of path. Yet walk it knowing that it means something different to each one of U/us.

Blessed be,
Goddess Moon

Anyone who truely knows Me, knows that sometimes I can get very dark. That there are times in My life when I need to be the most Sadistic. Tonight is one of those nights. Not to say that in My normal D/s relationships I am not Sadistic, for I am. Yet tonight there is just something calling out to Me and I wish that I could act upon it.

To have that slave at My feet just waiting for the next order. Hearing him breathe deeply and feel him get to the point that needing Me almost is a Sadistic act in itself.

It has been awhile since I have had the flogger in My hand. Since I have heard the stingy sound of the Buggy Whip or the smack of the crop. It has been awhile since I have had a submissive clutching the bed in tears telling Me how much he loves Me and is thankfully I care for him so much.

As I sit here and write this, having all those beautiful things go through My head it makes My heart hurt and My body ache. Ache in a way I have not felt in a very long time. It is very rare that I ache for those things. Although I know that it is a very good thing that, that thirst and hunger is still there. The wanting, aching and needing. Sometimes the journey itself is long and drawn out so I am glad to know that those desires are feeding Me still.

For Me the small acts of servitude and love from a slave is normally what sustains Me. Yet tonight there is such a stronger and deeper need floating inside of Me.

I know that slave will come to Me when it is meant to be. Yet I am ready Damn it!

Blessed be,
Goddess Moon

I found this picture and love it. Oh how I love My garter and stockings. There could be nothing better.


I have not written in awhile. I have just been taking some time to sit back and breathe. I think there are times W/we all need to do that. Most of My day today was spent taking care of Me. I spent 90% of the time laying in bed. Reading, Sleeping, Masterbating. What a joyous day it was!

Not many days are like that for Me, so even through rare I took it in for all it was worth.

I just wanted to update quickly before bed to let E/everyone know I am still around and kicking!

I will write more tomorrow.

Blessed be and Goodnight

Goddess Isis Moon

So, there have been several of us that keep blogs that are posting on an entry that LFA spectic wrote about in his/her journal. I know that it angered quite a few and wanted to step on the point Myself.

Reading it did not anger Me. It simply showed Me yet again that so many in this lifestyle are clueless in what they know. So many enter, play around or write about this lifestyle with "surface" knowledge. Surface knowledge is based on what someone reads on the net, see on TV or movies. Anyone can have surface knowledge and in fact most of U/us have surface knowledge in almost everything in life. I could do open heart surgery... I could cut open the chest and get that far. That is surface knowledge.

It is clear that this person simply has that. Stating that D/s is based on a mother/son relationship shows the lack of any real life situations or any true study behind what he or she speaks of. There are so many different aspects of D/s that there can not be one right or wrong answer.

In fact, putting the words BDSM together in My eyes is just not the correct thing to do.

BDSM... all four areas are so very different in every aspect that putting them together seems wrong and over all confusing to those just starting out.

Will touch on that subject tomorrow.

It seems that the misconception with so many that live a D/s or S/m lifestyle is that W/we all must have been fucked up somewhere down the line. We have had to be abused, raped, beaten.. ect. We must have all had terrible childhoods.

I have never been raped, had a wonderful childhood and have only been hit a few times. Usually it was I who hit first! I did not come into this lifestyle to make up for something I did not have or try to heal something that happened to Me. I know several people in the lifestyle that have and their coming in the lifestyle was not at all related to the things that have happened to them in their past.

I think with anything in the world there are good and bad sides. There are good and bad people in this lifestyle and out of this lifestyle. When I read that blogger entry I simply shook My head. Not in anger, not in saddness, but in frustration that yet another person is getting on the high horse and acting as if they know what they are talking about when in truth.. they have no fucking clue.

In Blessing and light,
Goddess Isis Moon

This morning I can not seem to get enough coffee in Me to get Myself moving. One of those sort of chilly mornings that make You just want to lay back in bed and sleep! Thankfully though, I must admit that being up this morning at 5am had its good points. The sky was a beautiful shade of black and blue as the sun rose up to kiss the earth. I sat with My coffee and just stared at it. Taking every breath of it in. Curled up in My rocking chair, which sits at the corner of My dining room, curled up with a blanket and a warm cup of coffee. I opened the patio door, which faces the West and stared out into the darkness for the longest time. It was a very good morning to a very busy day.

I was able to catch up on some of the blogs that I read on a regular basis. Candace wrote a good entry about sex drive. It is so funny to Me how everyone is so different. I went through of course My teenyears craving sex. Then it subsided and now at 28 (Almost 29), two children later, I find that My sex drive is at it's all time high. Not that I ever have time to act upon it, yet it is very high at this point in My life.

I think with Women, as with men, our sex drive changes almost like the seasons. Even with the changing of the months. It is not that W/we do not desire sex, yet real life always seems to set in and W/we find ourselves more busy then usual. I have always had a very hard time just having sex to have it. For Me, there has to be an emotional connection with someone or it just ends up feeling empty. Always a million things to do and no time to do them!

This morning I am hoping to sit My ass down here and hook up the digital camera I bought a year ago! It's the Kodak with the dock and printer. Not hard to hook up I am sure yet I just never seem to sit down and do it! So here I am, with that in mind updating My blogger instead.

Anywho.. off I go to accomplish something.

Blessed be,
Goddess Moon