As I was going through some computer files and disks I found some old writings. I was shocked when I looked through some of them. Most are after old heartbreaks. I will post a few.

These were written at 21-23


I rummage around for myself
Wondering what I have become
Searching for the answers
That seem to never come

Unzip my mind and allow myself to grieve
Grieve the past and full steam ahead to the future
He is not mine, he has never been mine to have
I peel back the unknowing surface

And find myself
Unbind myself
Remind myself
That I am worth it

you suddenly turns sour in my mouth
I shake my head in confusion as to what I did
Giving everything I had
To get nothing in return

Yet my hands quake and my throat swallows hard
At the thought of moving on
Ah---yes moving on
The only way I will be able to live

And I find myself
Unbind myself
Remind myself
I can make it

You threw me into the middle of the fire
Your life out of control, I stuck my head in the middle to be a distraction
My head rolled to the other side of the room
And blood landed on your 500 dollar suit.

I even had the knowledge to hand you a hankie to tidy it up
Just like me, feeling ghastly even at my own destruction
My body falling apart at my feet
you never interrupt to see if I am alive

Now I have found myself
I have unbound myself
And I remind myself
I AM WORTH IT!
-----------------------------------

Strike me--I do not feel
Kick me--My sense are down
Harm me--I have no heart
Manipulate me--You are paying attention at least
Lie to me--The only talk you know
Kiss me--The sweetest taste is the one of death
Fuck me--You made me feel that is all I am worth
Batter me--Maybe the blood vessels will give me sensation
Curse me--at least you will show emotion
Bellow at me--You will be talking
Snub me-------Wait, you are doing that already


Oh how things change. Funny how I know it was clearly after a heartbreak, yet I do not remember when, who or how!

Rub your hands quickly together for 30 seconds then pull them apart.

Do they tingle?
Feel hot?

That is energy. Now do it again and then focus on the energy going between your left palm to your right palm.

Energy.

Magick is that.
Energy.
Feeling that energy between your two hands can not be denied. you feel it, it is there.

I am not entirely sure why in this world, this realm of "kinky" people W/we feel the need to bicker back and forth. I am not one that follows anything. I was born and raised catholic and there are still some beliefs in the catholic faith that I agree with. I study Wicca, Paganism, Witchcraft, herbalism, Fung Shui. That does not make Me much different from anyone else. There are aspects of each and every that I hold under My soul and believe in. Some aspects of each, I don't.
I don't believe in certain political views, certain aspects of each religion, ect. Yet, I like to keep those things to Myself. I don't need to change anyones mind about anything. I believe in what I believe in and that is simply that.
Me.

I may disagree, show My views and voice them but I NEVER disrespect anyone elses thoughts upon it. W/we all believe what W/we want to. That is what makes the world a wonderful place and a place that has a billion different type of people in it.

Respect is a wonderful thing and shows what type of person someone is. I know as a Dominant Woman that if My submissive shot off at the mouth to someone that should be respected, he would be whipped. Severely. he is a reflection of Me and I will not ever allow him to give Me a bad name in any light. Online or offline.

Oh things have just been too busy around here for My own good. Although I must admit I enjoy the full house and am a huge fan of the holidays. I like to stay busy so having everyone around, dealing with the hustle and bustle is a welcome for Me.

Even with all the busy family around Me, My Sadistic side is aching to get out. It has been awhile since I have laid My thick and heavy hand on someone and am looking forward to the day that I am able to. Not to say that I am not Sadistic all the time, there are just times where it is more upfront and times when the need is heavier then others. I can not deny the dreams that I have had are very raw, rough and hard. I know that the ache will grow stronger and stronger until I am able to allow it to seep into someone else. Some of the thoughts in My head are extremely dark and thoughts I would not readily tell anyone. Most would be surprised at times the thoughts that plague My mind and ache in My belly. I believe it would be considered "scary" to some but has never been scary to Me. For Me it is and has always been a welcome point in My life. Getting others on board... now that is the tricky part.

I have always and will always be known as going against the grain. Safe words for example. In My 12 years I have never had a slave use them. I don't give them and don't believe that they need to be there. For some... perahaps. For some.. a must. Yet, I read people very, very well. I take someone as far as I want to go. I am very good at telling how far I can take someone and when it is time to stop. Does that slave know those safe words that are the normal.. Green, Yellow and red? Of course... yet there has never been a need to use them. I am sure I will get many comments for it and that is okay. I know what works for Me and Mine and that is what matters most to Me.

A blast from the past came through into My life recently. A good blast of course. An old friend whom I have not talked to in quite awhile. It is funny how some people lose contact and have nothing to say, then their are others whom pick up where they left off. It has been nice learning about what has been going on in life since we last spoke.

Today is spent at home. Entertaining family and baking My Domme Ass off. I must admit that I could use the help today or even a nap would be nice!

Blessings!
Goddess Moon

The above picture was so lovingly sent by nyte. It is Goddess Athena a picture that he sent a few days ago to brighten My day. It was so lovely I wanted to post it for A/all to see.

As most know, I have family in from out of town this week for Thanksgiving. So far, it has turned out to be quite the weekend.

Other then the "What are all these herbs for? You are practice Witchcraft aren't you? Does your mother know?" "Why do You have a lot of black leather? Why do You have a lot of boots?".

Aside from all those million questions things are going very well.

I have wanted to sit down and write about the Goddess that has come to Me, yet I just don't have the time until all is quiet here. I do enjoy the hustle and bustle of family. Thankfully W/we are all very close and having T/them here does not pose too much of a problem.

I love the Bridgeman art gallery. I enjoy hours spent looking through all the old pieces of art and seeing real Women being seen as that... Women. Ever notice how They are not tiny stick figures? They are real Women, with real bodies. Curves and what most consider fat or imperfect. On that note I wanted to post a few of My favorites.




I am not sure that I enjoy the new template layout. With the new name and blogger change I will be looking around for something that I enjoy better. If A/any of My readers come across something that T/they think I would like let Me know.

Blessed be

I have been wanting to sit and seriously write for sometimes but it seems just when I think I have the time to do so, something comes up and I never quite get the moment.

I spent sometime last night in meditation. Made a beautiful fresh insense of Caramon, juniper, fengreek and White willow bark. I use Willow a lot in My insense, homemade candles, lotions and perfume oils. It is the tree of the Goddess. It gives off a beautiful musky smell. As I laid in bed I lite My Silver candle (also Goddess) and closed My eyes. Chanting over and over again for the answer to My question.

Goddess make me see
The journey that is in front of Me
Show Me where I should start
Find the journey that is in My heart


After knoting My rope 10 times and chanting 10 as well, something came over Me. My ears plugged, My eyes began to well up. I found it hard to breath and soon I was asleep. She came to Me. She came to Me with the knowledge of what path I am to take. She was beautiful, breathtaking and kind. I shall write upon that in the next few days as I have family coming in for the Thanksgiving holiday and will have to really take the time to sit and explain.

Speaking of Willow Trees... I believe My Mother thinks that I have perhaps lost it. In the back of My Mother and fathers home (which I grew up in) was a beautiful willow tree. It had been there before I was born and each animal that had died was placed under that tree to settle. Tomorrow it is scheduled to be cut down as it is rotting from the inside out and will soon be falling over anyhow. Yet, I was amazed how truely saddened I was by knowing that it would no longer be there. I think that I was sad on many different levels. It was a mirror of My childhood, as I would go hide under it during hide and seek. Its branches kissing the ground ever so softly. As a teenager, when life just got to hard I would sit under it to write hours in the many journals I filled during those years. The many pets that layed to rest, the hours running around it when My daughter was toddling around. And now. The Goddess. Knowing that She was that weeping willow tree all those years looking after Me. I went out to spent some well needed time with Her before She was taken away. Hugging Her, Thanking Her, talking to Her.

As I said.. I believe My Mother thought I had spilled My marbles.

The upcoming holidays are flying around the corner. I enjoy them but do not enjoy the busy bee syndrome that comes a long with them. I tend to do a lot of meditation during this time. Perhaps I could get away with being in an astral state for the next 2 months.

As with anyone that does Magick faithfully, they know that if one speaks of a spell that was cast it will be muffled by others thoughts. So in explaining that I want that Someone to know that She will be fine. I called for the correct Animal Protecting Goddess to help with the problem. I will do it every week until She is better. That You have My word on.

My family comes in tomorrow afternoon. Half are staying with My Mom and Dad, the other half with Me. (I hope the good half). I hated that My library suddenly got smaller as the D/s books and the Wiccan books were either taken down or turned around. To them, I am still the Good catholic girl they all know and love. Easier to just leave well enough a lone. Yet, I have My own thoughts about those that are "whipped" in other people's eyes.

The Annie Leibowitz Newest Photography book is now out. Something on My Christmas list. She is a beautiful photographer, yet the picture She took of John Lennon and Yoko the same day that he passed is one of the most beautiful photos I have ever seen. Not that I see it for its "Beatles" memory, I see it more in the beautiful D/s quality it has it in. For those that have not seen it...
Yoko is laying on her back.
Black sweater and jeans.
Her hair is falling all around her.
John is laying to her right.
On his side, curled against her naked.
Vulnerable.
Knowing that she holds the key.

It truely is one of My top 10 favorite pictures.

Alright.. I am going to talk to nyte for a few more moments and I am off to bed.


Goddess Isis Moon
**Blogger name and place soon to change**

I looked and saw it really has been a while since I have written here. Usually I do not go that many days and not write. Perhaps Mercury is fucking with Me, the way it is fucking with GA.

Things are going very well in My life right now, although I feel that they are busier then ever. As if I am in a fog trying to look through.

My dreams have been strange, telling and overall quite real lately. I believe it has to do with My journey into My past lives and where I must go from here. Which thankfully through those dreams things are becoming a bit clearer then they have been.

Anyway.. not a lot of time this morning to write.
Will finish later.

Happy Birthday to Me! I turn 29 at 2:38 pm and I sit here looking back on all the things that have made My 29 years up.

I had a beautiful childhood, beautiful parents and a beautiful past. It seems so strange to Me that, that much time has passed already. I am not where I thought I would be at this time in My life. Things are better, the outlook good. I am glad that I have been through the obstacles and look forward to at least 50 more years of it.

I am lucky to have a wonderful family, children and some of the most beautiful friends in the world. I am blessed to have a soul Sister whom I am connected to. I have things most people will never find and today I feel very lucky. Sad that it takes certain days for U/us to realize it.

Anyhow... Happy birthday to Me

I have always found it to be funny when people come and go so quickly on and off the internet. You are in contact with them for months at a time and then one day, they are gone as quickly as they came. I have and will always be a firm believer that everyone comes into your life for a reason but sometimes you have to wonder why you came into theirs.

I tend to pour Myself into people, I always have. It has always be very important to Me to do just that. I like that about Me and would not change that for the world, yet it does allow Me to be seeping open a bit more then normal people. Allows Me to become closer when I want to.

Today has been one of those days when everything seems to go wrong. Nothing major, nothing to write home in tears about, just one of those days when everything surrounding you seems a bit off.

First thing this morning---Coffee pot set to brew at 5:30am. Awoke at 5:45 to find coffee and grounds all over My kitchen counter and floor. **Not Good**

Not a good way to start then day for this coffee lover.

My mood seems to be a bit all over the place today. Tonight is clearly no expection. Feelings are stirring deeply within Me that have not come up to the surface for quite sometime. I like it. It scares Me. I need it and I am enjoying it.


When W/we met light was shed
Thoughts free flow
you said you have something
Deep inside of you
A windchime sound
Sway of your hips
Rings true.
These secret garden beems
Changed My life so it seems
A fall breeze blows outside
I don't break stride for many
thoughts are warm
They will go deep inside of you
I can go nowhere
I burn candles
Stare
At a ghost deep inside of Me
Some great need
Starts to bleed
I want to be deep inside of you.

Anywho...
My birthday is tomorrow... I am growing old.

Blessings,
Goddess Isis Moon

Goddess A was talking about Mercury in Retrograde today on the board and how when it is in Retro that everything turns to shit in Her realm. For Me once the New Moon hits everything turns to putty in My world. I am not really sure why, as you would think refreshing oneself would come with the New Moon and usually it works that way. Yet, for Me it is the exact opposite. Of course, I have never been one to "Travel with the grain", so I am not shocked.

I have been studing both Bohemian/Slavic Paganism and the Celtic Realm in great detail. As I have stated before Goddess Isis has been My patron saint. She came to Me years ago in one dream after another. Allowing Me to walk the path with Her and learn the things that I needed to learn. Recently, within the last month or so she has again showed Herself very clearly to Me. The spoken truth of Her journey with Me and that She is now done with that journey. That I must move on to bigger things. Things that She no longer can hold My hand on. Whispering to Me that I must find My way without Her and with another.

So that is why I am taking the time and energy to study My roots. As I have talked many a day to GA about, I am at a bit of a stand still. Between a rock and a hard place. What path to take, what to choose. I have meditated within both realms and know in My heart where I should go. Yet, It is My head that is turning the tricks on Me. My grandfather and his family were from Bohemia. My grandmother and her family were from Ireland. At a young age My grandmother's family moved to Bohemia then a decade later to the US.

Within My family all were Female Led Relationships. My grandmother died when I was 8 and looking back, going through papers and journals once the estate sale came through I now know with 100% certaintly that she too was a Witch. To research those things, to see Her writing on paper made My eyes well up. To know that I was and am not alone in My Witchy ways makes it easier to understand.

So anyway, that is what is going on with Me. Nothing extremely exciting.

Blessings,
GIM

Artwork in Bridgemen art library
Getty Images